Hurt
by Queen of Cupcakes
Summary: After Donatello's relationship with Angel falls apart, Leonardo tries to comfort his brother...only to find out his true feelings for him. LeoDon slashyaoi
1. Chapter 1

Okay…this is a Leo/Don yaoi story…I wanted to at least try something a bit different, and I've been suffering on major writers block for all my other stories…so…hehehehe…there will be a lemon in future chapters…so…I'll post a warning before that chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT, no matter how much I wished to own Don, Leo, and Raph…(sighs)

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Leonardo couldn't help but be curious each time he passed Donatello's lab, it seemed like every day his little brother would be working on something new. He frowned a bit flashing back to how Donatello's long term relationship with Angel deteriorated, especially with her seeing Raphael behind his back.

He felt the back of his neck prickle a bit as the deep familiar rage of the day Donatello shut himself from his family, being in his lab for hours at a time…

Out of all of them he thought Michelangelo took it the hardest, going past his goofy nature and nearly sent Raphael into bed rest for months. The strangest thing that came out of this entire thing was that he and Raphael didn't fight each other…just basically ignored each other. He wasn't surprised that Raphael didn't regret taking the sunshine in his little brother's life away from him…but he was surprised by the way Michelangelo took to it.

The memory of Master Splinter flashed in his mind…and he sighed sadly. Their father was dieing, and the entire event that happened made his condition worse.

He furrowed his eye ridges, realizing Donatello hadn't made a peep since that day, and Raphael started complaining about how his beers kept on disappearing when he wasn't looking. He would usually have to be the one who had to go topside to buy the damned drinks, but they'd disappear constantly, and the more he went topside just to get Raphael alcohol, the more he began to wonder what was making them disappear.

He knocked on the door to Donatello's lab, but there wasn't a reply, usually he'd hear the sound of his computer chair rolling backwards.

The sound of someone vomiting got his full attention and he found himself becoming worried, "Don? Is everything okay in there?"

No answer, just more vomiting sounds…

He grabbed the door knob, realizing it was unlocked, and he ripped it open. His eyes widened in horror seeing his little brother slouched over his garbage can vomiting over calculations and notes that were wrong. His room was full of empty beer cans. He glanced outside, stepping into the room, and closed the door soundly behind him.

He knew Raphael would be pissed if he found that Donatello was stealing his beer.

He found himself touching Donatello's shoulder after his vomiting spell, watching as his brother took deep breaths, "Why?"

The sound of his little brother whimpering stabbed his heart like a dagger as he kneeled down next to Donatello, "Donnie…are you alright?"

Donnie snapped his head up, staring at Leonardo, taking deep breathes as he wiped the vomit from his mouth, "Does it loo' like alrigh'?"

Don's slurred voice made Leonardo frowned a bit, "No…but drinking isn't the answer."

Donatello casted his eyes downwards, shutting them tightly stifling a small sob, "But it makes it go away…"

"Makes what go away?" Leonardo asked touching his brother's shoulder gently.

"The pain…"

Leonardo frowned, "She didn't deserve you Don…heck, she doesn't even deserve Raph for what she did to you."

Don sniffed. Leonardo made a face at the sickening smell of the mixture of beer and vomit in the air, _"Damn it…"_

Don let out a soft whine, burying his face in his calloused palms, mumbling something childishly into them due to his drunken state.

"Don?" Leonardo asked, "Say that again." 

Donatello complied looking up, "I just wanna be loved."

"Donnie, you are loved…" he tried explaining, but nothing would come out. He knew the love his brother wanted was a relationship with someone, that special kind of love that he thought he had with Angel, but didn't have.

"You'll find that someone someday…" Leo whispered, giving his brother a slight squeeze.

He had no idea that would be the start of a roller coaster ride of emotions that he pushed away the moment Karai went with Chapman.

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	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT

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His head hurt, that's all he knew when he came to the next morning. Forgetting everything that happened the night before, after drinking himself till he forgot where he was…he expected to awaken in the lab, but he blinked with a groan as he realized he was in his room.

He glanced at his bedside table, blinking in surprise seeing a glace and two aspirin on the table next to a note. He gratefully took the pain pills, throwing them in his mouth, and gulping them down greedily with the soothing clear liquid.

He didn't remember anything from the night before, except for the time before he started emptying his stomach's contents into the waste basket.

Rubbing his temple with one hand, he grabbed the note, only to jump a bit with a sudden knock on the doorway. He wouldn't move…he wouldn't breathe; he just stared at the door hoping whoever it was to just leave.

"Donnie…"

He sighed, "Damn you Leo."

He knew he couldn't say no to his eldest brother, he knew that no matter what he did he'd listen to his brother.

"Don, you got to talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about," he called to the doorway.

"I'm coming in…"

He found himself looking away from the doorway as Leonardo entered the room, concern etched on his features, "What happened last night?"

He glanced at their 'fearless' leader, as Raphael called Leo. A bitter taste entered his mouth when he thought of Raphael…holding _her_ in his arms, instead of him.

"You don't remember anything do you," Leo stated. He tensed, realizing that Leo somehow found out about his new habit of getting drunk in his lab.

"I remember getting drunk, and puking," he commented, "but I don't remember anything after the accursed puking."

Leo's mouth formed a straight line, "I just wanted to let you know you and I are going to go on a pilgrimage…Master Splinter thought it would be best for you."

"When are we leaving?" he muttered.

"Tomorrow morning," Leo stated, "April and Casey gave us full permission to use Casey's Grandma's farm house, and every two weeks they'll be sending us supplies…Master Splinter visiting those days."

Donatello tensed considerably, realizing Leonardo was covering up this journey by saying it was a pilgrimage…this was no pilgrimage…it was rehabilitation, "How long are we going to be gone?"

Leo sighed, realizing Don was catching on, "It's for your own good Donnie."

"I'm not going…" he stated, "you can't force me to, I don't want to…I just want you to leave me alone, what I do is of none of your concern!"

"Yes it is," Leo stated stubbornly, "I'm not going to stand by and watch my little brother end up like on of those alcoholics…either drinking themselves to death, or making it worse…getting drugs involved, or even worse then that, hurting yourself!"

"I don't want your help Leo…I don't need it!"

Leo clenched his jaw, "What happened to you Donnie? Where is that brilliant scientist that is always working on projects…what happened to that smile you would almost always have plastered on your face…it's like we don't know you anymore!"

Don sighed, looking away, "I have no choice do I?"

"Don…I don't know how long we'll be there," Leo stated, "but I want to tell you one thing; don't let her get to you, don't let her suddenly leaving you get to you, and don't let her relationship with Raph get to you…you deserve better then her, and I knew that from the beginning."

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Donatello sat in the trailer a good distance away from Leonardo as Casey and April drove them to Northampton. His mind kept on replaying the talk that he had with Master Splinter the day before.

_He kneeled in front of their sensei and adoptive father, he kept looking away not wishing to look up and see disappointment in his eyes._

"_Donatello…" he tensed, "I know you've been hurt."_

_He drew in a deep gulp of air as the image of Raphael and Angel making love came into mind._

"_I've known what you were also doing in the lab…" his head snapped up, eyes full of horror, "My son that is not a wise way to make the hurt go away, but I wanted to wait before speaking to you about this matter. What Leonardo is asking of you is the right thing…though you are reluctant at first…I believe you'll be thanking him for suggesting this to me."_

So far he couldn't think of a way to thank him, except for getting away from Raphael and Angel for a long time.

"When did you start?" Leonardo suddenly asked.

"After I caught them in the act," he muttered, "After Raph was nearly put on bed rest by Mikey, and Mike's unknown rage."

Leo found himself cursing silently. He should have seen it; he should have seen him sneaking the beers from the kitchen to the lab…if he wasn't so focused on yelling at Raphael and Angel!

"I'm sorry you found out that way…" he whispered.

"I was bound to find out anyways," Donatello stated, body nearly twitching for the need of alcohol as the hurt and pain began to pour into him.

Leonardo could sense the inner stirring inside of Donatello, "Don…"

"I can't do it Leo…I need it…" he found his bottom lip quivering, "I need it."

Leonardo's eyes widened, as he found himself crawling over to his little brother, pulling him into an embrace the moment he started crying silently. His heart ached seeing that Don was in so much pain, but…he also felt his stomach doing flips the moment he embraced his brother.

Pushing aside the feeling he held onto him tightly, whispering, "I'm here Don…"

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Thanks for the reviews! Thanks for the support!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT

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"Thanks April, Casey," Leonardo smiled as the man and woman stood in front of the parked vehicle. April glanced at Donatello in worry as he stood there behind Leonardo looking away.

"If you two need anything call us," she stated, "I hope you get better soon Donnie."

Donatello just nodded, forcing a slight smile.

"Yeah, stay here just as long as you two need to," Casey stated, "and I swear I won't tell Raph where his beer been disappearing to." Donatello nodded a bit, "An' don't worry, I'll talk to them.

"Hope you guys have a safe trip back," Leo stated.

"Oh, Christmas, we're bringing everyone up here if you guys are still here…" April glanced at Don one last time, whispering to Leonardo, "Please take care of him…I don't want to loose my best friend even more."

Leonardo nodded, "I will April, don't worry."

The woman hugged the blue masked mutant tightly, before going to Don hugging him even tighter, "Be safe."

With that their two human companions left, leaving Leonardo to glance at Donatello. He and his little brother didn't really had that much alone time together due to his arguments with Raphael. Grabbing one of the bags of groceries that April and Casey had picked up for their first two week stay, "I guess we better get to work."

Donatello nodded a bit, "I guess so…"

It was awkward as the brought things into the old house, so silent. Leonardo shut his eyes pausing a bit as he thought…

He'd preferred to share a room with his little brother if he got any ideas…it surprised him when Casey warned him to stay with Don at all times, due to the wine cabinet that was located underneath the house.

Why would there be a wine cabinet underneath the old farm house anyways?

But first he needed to start Donatello on the road of recovery.

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Donatello stared at Leonardo as he sat in front of him, "Don…nothing is going to help if you don't talk about it."

"I was blind…that's all," Donatello stated irritably.

"Then why are you hurting so much?" Leonardo asked.

Donatello glanced downwards, "Because…I loved her."

_This isn't getting anywhere,_ Leonardo sighed, burying his face in his hands. He glanced at the clock, and then outside into the dark night.

"We should be heading to bed…" he said more to himself then to Donnie.

He glanced at the door to the cellar, then back to Don, "Come on bro."

Donatello nodded slightly staring at his brother as he stood up and turned to exit the room; standing up, he glanced where Leonardo glanced a few moments before, before following his elder brother.

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The digital alarm clock flashed 2:33 AM, when Leonardo stirred from his sleep, and began staring at the ceiling.

Something wasn't right…

Tensing considerably as he turned his head, he found himself sitting up in panic seeing Donatello wasn't in his bed, "Please…please don't be in there."

Jumping out of bed, he landed on the floor with a loud creak…wincing slightly, he realized that he had to be really careful in this old house to keep up the code of silence every ninja held, but right now was an exception. As he continued running down the hallway to the flight of stairs, he could smell the scent of vomit…

_Damn it…I should have kept a better eye on him._

He stopped dead in his tracks, hearing his brother's sobs and whimpers as the reeking stench grew. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest; he could feel the cloud of rage entering his mind, and the heart throbbing feeling of hurt being speared into his chest.

Shrugging off those feelings he jumped the flight of stairs, landing in a crouching position when he reached the bottom floor. His eyes widened in absolute panic seeing Donatello sprawled in front of the fire place with three empty wine bottles, one half way drunk one, and a full one waiting to be opened…and it was absolutely horrifying to see his little brother laying in his own vomit.

He didn't know how fast he ran to get to Donatello's side, all he knew that he either wanted to punch him or hug him. He didn't know which…maybe both.

But recovering a bit, he found himself snatching the halfway empty wine bottle and in one swift motion the smell of the sweet wine entered the room, mixing with the stench of vomit.

It was horrible…

Donatello glanced up, staring at Leonardo, eyes glazed over from his drunken state, and from sobbing…

He was still sobbing.

Leonardo grabbed Donatello's arm, helping him up, "Come on let's get you cleaned up."

Donatello just answered with a pitiful whimper, but leaned onto Leonardo for support.

Leonardo felt his heart flutter a bit having Donatello this close to him, and he hated the fact that he felt this feeling before, but with someone else. His mind flashed momentarily to the moment in time he had felt this before…the hand glider, Karai…

Ignoring his past crush, he trudged to the stairs, frowning seeing it would be a lot harder to get up there then to get down there. What felt like an hour later; Leonardo was in the upstairs bathroom, helping Donatello into the shower, gear and mask in the sink ready to bel cleaned.

He grimaced at the thought of bathing his little brother…but he needed him, and so he did what he could do.

Using the wet wash rag, he began to wash the dried vomit from his little brother's face, but he couldn't help but stare into Donatello's sad dark eyes. He drew in a deep breathe as he felt his thoughts run wild, thinking that this was over some young woman they called friend…who Donatello called lover…and what steamed him was the most was that Raphael was willing to hurt Donatello because of her.

"Don, are you okay?"

A dry sob was his answer, making him panic, "Donatello speak to me."

Donatello muttered something, making him frown, "Don…"

"Hold me," Don whispered hoarsely, "Leo, please hold me."

That's how Leo found himself in the shower holding his little brother, the familiar feeling of his heart fluttering mixed with his stomach doing back flips…

This was the first time he didn't really care.

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	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT

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Two days had passed since Donatello's last episode…after a lot of searching Leonardo found the key to the cellar, and locked the door, hiding it where he'd only find it. This was supposed to be rehab; he wasn't aiming for making it worse…

He glanced at Donatello, that familiar fluttering returning, only stronger this time.

After holding Donatello till dawn two days before, something had been completely different, something in the back of his mind wanted to push brother a further distance from Donatello, and put something else…

But what? Did this have to do with being woken up in the middle of the night by Donatello with him begging him to hold him?

He felt himself smiling at the thought, having Donatello in his arms, needing and wanting him to be there. Nothing like before, nothing like childhood when all four of them shared a room and bed, all of them curled up around him for comfort in their sleep.

Of course during their childhood, he and Donatello had been closer then they were now.

What exactly happened?

He sat down on the couch next to Donatello, not tensing when he laid his head on his shoulder. Donatello was recovering from trying to break into the cellar for what he called the sweet escape.

Leonardo was still finding stray pieces of glass from that one wine bottle that he threw against the wall.

"I'm sorry…" Donatello murmured.

"There's nothing to be sorry about," Leonardo stated.

"No…you're trying to help, and I'm…" Donatello's voice became caught in his throat, "I'm being as stubborn as…"

Leonardo felt himself narrow his eyes, "Don't say his name Don…just don't."

Without knowing it Leonardo found his arm moving up to Don's opposite shoulder, giving it an affectionate squeeze, breathing in Don's scent. He couldn't describe the smell…but all he knew was that he liked it.

"I wish we had more time together before," he whispered to himself as he continued to squeeze Donatello's shoulder, the feeling of his heart fluttering at the action.

He could feel Don nodding in agreement, "Yeah…thanks Leo."

Leo smiled a bit, feeling his cheeks heat up some, "No problem Donnie."

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The first two weeks past by pretty quickly, April, Casey, and Master Splinter, and surprisingly Michelangelo stopped by for a few hours, mostly asking about how Donatello's recovery was going.

Leonardo could see the disappointment on Michelangelo's face when he stated that this would take much longer then expected…much longer…

"Raph found out," Casey suddenly blurted.

April elbowed the man, sending him a dirty look, before glancing worriedly at Donatello and Leonardo, "We had to beg him to stay at the lair…he's not very happy about it."

Leonardo narrowed his eyes, "Well if he didn't drink those damned alcoholic beverages, then we wouldn't be in this mess, now would we?"

"Do you want us to tell him that?" Casey asked.

Master Splinter sighed shaking his head, "I will have another talk with Raphael as soon as we return home."

Leonardo nodded, glancing to Donatello, "That would be great sensei."

Master Splinter smiled warmly at Leonardo, "Take care of him."

Leonardo nodded, already been told that multiple times. After hugging April, Casey, and Master Splinter he glanced at Donatello, who Michelangelo was still saying his good byes, with an hour long hug.

He could feel his mouth twitch a bit, the strange feeling of jealousy overwhelming him as he watched the hug continued.

"You take care of yourself Donnie," Michelangelo stated, "I miss ya bro."

"I miss you too, Mike," Donnie stated, hugging his younger brother. Mike reluctantly let go of Donatello, and gave Leonardo one last hug.

"Leo, you two better get back soon, Raph is getting ideas of using me as a living punching bag," Michelangelo stated releasing Leo from his hug, and sent his two brothers one last look before getting in the trailer.

The two stood out there watching as the vehicle disappeared. Leonardo glanced at Donatello, "Do you have any requests for dinner tonight?"

Though Leonardo despised cooking with his entire being, he'd do it for Donatello…right now he'd do anything for him.

"I really don't care," Donatello stated, glancing at Leonardo, sending him a sad smile, "as long as I get to help this time."

"Don, I insist that you…"

"Leo, I know how much you hate cooking," Donatello stated, the first real and happy smile that Leo hadn't seen that felt like an eternity, "besides, you can't be doing all the work even if I'm psychologically unbalanced."

Leonardo returned the smile, his heart fluttering, "Alright Don, but you got to suggest something to eat tonight."

"Like I said Leo, I don't really care," Don stated looking away suddenly, smile faltering.

"Don, is everything okay?" Leo asked.

"I had this kind of conversation about dinner before Leo…" he whispered, "with her…"

Leo frowned, "Don, its okay…how about chicken and rice, with a nice cup of herbal tea?"

Don nodded, glancing up at Leo, "Thanks Leo."

Leo sent Don a loving smile, "It's not a problem Don."

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Donatello glanced at Leonardo as he filled the measuring cup; _Leo's been acting really bizarre lately._

He furrowed his brow, returning his gaze back to the measuring cup, a slight blush forming on his cheeks. For the first time in basically months, he and Leonardo had been at least getting along again…after being changed into that monstrosity by Bishop.

He shook his head, checking the measuring cup for the right amount of water, and pouring it into the microwavable rice cooker.

He thanked the stars for technology, not sure how'd they survive without it.

They'd probably be either dead or struggling without the joys and pains of technology.

Putting it into the microwave, and set the cook time for twenty-five minutes, he pressed start and glanced at Leonardo.

Leonardo was quickly cutting the poultry that he pulled from the refrigerator, preparing it to be grilled on the indoor grill Casey left for them.

Leonardo and Casey weren't exactly friends, but the man did respect Leo, in his own strange way. Casey knew how Leonardo felt sometimes of being out in the open, and staying in one place for a long period of time…especially if there was a signal screaming that someone was there, such as a grill.

"Hey Don, could you pass me a spatula?" Leo asked suddenly. Don blinked noticing that the spatulas were within Leo's reach, but he didn't say anything, and found himself complying to Leonardo's request, grabbing one of the spatulas, and glancing at Leonardo.

He was grateful that it was Leonardo the one doing this and not anyone else…he wasn't sure how to live with Michelangelo if he was the one trying to help…he'd probably make everything worse, and Master Splinter…he wasn't sure what his father would do to help. Raphael was the one who caused everything…along with the help of Angel.

A bitter taste entered his mouth at the thought…after all he did for her; she betrays him. He wouldn't have been as hurt if he found out she was screwing around with some human stranger…but Raphael, his brother…it was too much to bear.

Leonardo gently grabbed his wrist with the hand that hadn't been handling the raw meat, causing him to glance up to meet his Leonardo's eyes. He felt his heart flutter a bit as Leonardo stared in his eyes, a mixture of emotions in his older brother's eyes.

Most of it he couldn't comprehend…but all of it comforting him, he could also see Leonardo studying him. Leonardo suddenly smiled, moving his hand to pat his shoulder, before taking the spatula, muttering a small thank you, before starting to grill the chicken.

He nodded, blinking in confusion, before finally deciding to put the kettle on the stove to start on the tea. His wrist and shoulder tingled from his brother's touch, nothing like when Angel touched him in the shoulder, he didn't remember her touches ever making him tingle.

Suddenly he found himself glancing at the cellar door, making him shake his head; _No…not again…never again._

He didn't want to scare Leonardo again, after that little speech that his brother gave him that morning he woke up in his brother's arms for the first time in years, not since they were really small and were forced to share a bed…not like they minded.

His mind suddenly went to one particular night that he'd doubt he'd ever forget.

_Donatello glanced around the dark room, his eyes wide with fear. This was the first night in his six year old life that he'd awaken to see Master Splinter gone. Master Splinter was always there whenever he or his brothers had nightmares. _

"_Donnie?" he blinked hearing his older brother's tired voice, "Did you have that nightmare again?"_

"_Uh-huh," he nodded, tears threatened to fall from his dark brown, almost black eyes._

_Leonardo frowned, Donatello had been having the nightmare of that drunk man entering the den while Master Splinter was savaging for food…they were so frightened when he started come towards them as if he was going to grab them and take them away, and Donatello was particularly afraid when he succeeded in grabbing him and started touching him. He was relieved that Master Splinter had left only moments before, and was able to hear their cries for help…_

_He didn't know what the man was going to do to Donatello if Master Splinter hadn't come along, frightening the man, and causing him to run off._

_Leonardo hugged Donatello, "That scary man isn't going to come back Donnie…he's not, Master Splinter promised." Donatello nodded a bit, hugging his older brother back, still unsure._

_The next thing he knew, Leonardo was shaking him awake, "Don…it's time for breakfast." _

He was glad Leonardo was there that night, he wasn't sure if he'd ever get back to sleep if it wasn't for him.

He doubted he'd ever recover from that attack if it wasn't for Leonardo, and just as Leonardo and Master Splinter promised that man never came back…

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	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT

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Leonardo smiled gently at Donatello watching as he drank his seventh cup of tea that night. He was glad that this was much healthier then what he was doing, but his healing had only begun. It took Donatello months to recover from that man attacking them when they were only children.

He took a bite of his grilled chicken, chewing carefully as Donatello brought a fork full of rice to his mouth. He felt his free hand inching across the table, only to blink when he felt his free hand take a hold of Donatello's, squeezing it gently.

Donatello found his face heating up at Leonardo's touch, shivers running up and down his arms at the touch as he returned the squeeze.

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"You didn't do anything?" Raphael asked in shock, "He was stealing my beer, ain't that enough to punish 'em?"

"Raphael, I agreed to allow you to drink this beer as you call it, but only if you agreed to sharing it whenever your brothers wished to drink it," Master Splinter frowned, "I'm thinking about not allowing you to bring it in this home all together because of what happened to Donatello."

Raphael snorted, "Hey, it ain't my fault…I mean, lets face it he didn't deserve her."

Master Splinter's eyes flashed angrily, "Raphael, I shall not have you mention that in my presence…you did the dishonorable thing and hurt your brother out of selfish reasons…she is equally responsible."

Raphael frowned, "Well…"

"Until your brother has fully recovered, I suggest you don't try my patience…and I suggest that in two weeks you will come with and us apologize to your brother," Master Splinter instructed, "and she must do it as well."

"I don't understand," Raphael shook his head, "Donnie should be the one apologizin' I mean…he did steal my beer."

"I already told you Raphael, you and Miss Angel should be the ones apologizing to Donatello, he is no longer emotionally stable, and the both of you are to blame," Master Splinter stated, "I wish to see Donatello happy again."

Raphael sighed, frowning, "Why did Leo have tah go with him?"

"Raphael, this was not my idea to send the both of them away to help with Donatello's recovery," Master Splinter stated shaking his head.

"Then who's was it?" Raphael asked.

"Leonardo's."

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Leonardo held onto Donatello tightly, just like every night before since they arrived there…each time he found himself getting closer and closer to the refusal of letting Donatello from his grasp. Donatello's scent was so addicting to him…the way Donatello felt as he touched his shoulders sent shivers up and down his body.

Happy that Donatello was asleep, he found himself boldly bringing his snout to the back of Donatello's neck, breathing the scent in deeply. He smelled of masculine indigos mixed with a bit of dirt and sweat. He was glad he was finally able to identify the scent that Donatello gave off.

Nuzzling Donatello neck gently, he murmured some gibberish, pulling him closer, his eyes closing as sleep over took him.

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	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT

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Leonardo couldn't help but curse himself at the thoughts that distracted his mind. Licking his lips he opened his eyes and glanced to Donatello on the couch reading, imagining his taste. His eyes widened; _He's your brother you moron…_

But why did he want to disagree with his common sense like he'd ignored the night before, holding Donatello close, dreaming of he and Donatello…he couldn't help but gulp at the thought. He wanted it so badly to happen, but he also was afraid of his family…or worse…their father would think.

Master Splinter didn't disapprove of Donatello's relationship with Angel at first…with it never becoming sexual in anyway…but when Raphael and Angel were caught screwing each other that night.

Leonardo couldn't help but narrow his eyes in fury; _Raph…Angel…why did those shit heads have to mess with my Donnie like that?_

He shook his head, _his_ Donnie…he felt as if everything was going out of hand…the touches, the smell…it was clouding his mind…all he knew was that he wanted to be there for Donatello at first, and now…

Everything is changing so quickly that he was stuck in a confusing wave of emotions. He loved Donatello…at first as a brother…but now…he didn't want Donatello to be thought of as brother. He felt himself slouching at the thought, _lovers…_so perfect yet the results wouldn't show up as he hoped. For all he knew Michelangelo might feel the same way about Donatello.

Donatello glanced from his book, "So, do you want me to start on breakfast?"

Leonardo found himself nodding slightly, "If you don't mind doing it."

Donatello smiled, "Leo, you hate cooking…I just want you to have a break from it…you could go to the barn and work on your katas…I mean…you haven't trained since we got here."

Leo frowned, "I'm going to watch you."

Donatello blinked, "You don't trust me that close to the cellar alone, don't you."

Leonardo nodded, standing up, "Yeah, I don't…because I'll never know when you find away to get through that lock, being the genius you are."

Donatello grinned, "I wasn't going to…"

"Come on genius…go make us some breakfast," Leonardo stated, holding his hand out to Donatello. Donatello stared at his hand for a bit, his cheeks heating up as he grabbed it, and allowed Leonardo to guide him to the kitchen.

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Angel sighed as she sat at the driver's seat, "You're sure about this Raph."

Raph nodded as he sat in the back of his girlfriend's car, "Oh, Donnie's gonna pay."

Angel sighed, "You don't have to hurt him, you know."

Raphael smirked, "I know." Angel couldn't help but shake her head, even if she didn't regret what she did; she still had distant feelings for the purple banded mutant…

"Hey, maybe afterwards we could go to the barn, and ya know," Raphael stated, staring at the back of her head. She giggled.

"Is that all you think about?"

"Nope…" he stated, "I think about other stuff…"

Angel couldn't help but sigh a bit, as they came upon the old farm house, "I can't believe you called me at two in the morning to drive you up here."

Raphael grinned, "But I'm worth it."

"True," she stated.

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Leonardo tensed at the sound of a car engine, and what made it worse was the sound of it turning off, right in front of the house, "Don…we gotta hide."

Don glanced from his plate of scrambled eggs nodding, following Leonardo.

"YO! LEO, DONNIE!" Leo tensed as he felt panic over come Donatello as Raphael's voice echoed through the old house

"Don…stay here, I'll go talk to Raph," Leonardo whispered. Donatello nodded a bit, watching as Leonardo exited the room.

Leonardo crossed his arms seeing Raphael standing in the doorway, "Hey Leo…uh…where's Donnie?"

"I heard about how you reacted about Don," he stated his voice cold.

Raphael narrowed his eyes, "Where is that fuckin' thief, and it's no use protectin' him Leo."

"Actually there is…you remember how you convince Splinter to even let you have that shit," Leonardo stated harshly, "and I swear on my honor, you touch him…I will inflict triple the pain that you do on him."

Raphael frowned, "I don't give a fuck Leo, now where is he?"

A sudden crash in the kitchen caused Raphael's eyes to dart towards the door to the kitchen, and he brushed past Leo to enter the room, only to be stopped by Leonardo putting a hand on his shoulders, "Don't you dare." Raph shrugged it off, entering the kitchen, and glared as Donatello tried his best to stand his ground, his book at his feet.

Cracking his knuckles he stalked towards Donatello, "I give ya one chance; apologize for stealin' my beer…and I won't hurt you."

Donatello couldn't help but feel the pain return, "Please Raph…"

Raph narrowed his eyes, throwing a punch straight at Donatello's jaw, causing Donatello to cry out as he flew backwards.

In nearly an instant Raphael was being pinned down on the ground by Leonardo, "I WARNED YOU!"

--------------------

Angel couldn't help but exit her car nervously shortly after Raphael entered the old house, something in her gut told her it was a bad idea. Slipping out of the driver's seat, she found herself walking to the house holding her breathe.

That's when she heard it…

Leonardo shouting something, the sound of Raphael shouting back…

Fighting…

She found herself sprinting inside only to stop dead in her tracks, eyes wide. It's been awhile since anyone has seen Leonardo and Raphael neck and neck or more like fist to fist, but it never seemed that high on the personal level for Leonardo…

But the way Leonardo had Raphael pinned on the wall, rage covered his features, and there wasn't a single scratch on him she knew that Raphael had done something wrong…

Dead wrong.

"Get out…" Leonardo growled.

"I ain't leavin' until…"

"Get the fuck out of here Raphael," Leonardo hissed, "and don't come back until you realize you're wrong you sick dick head."

"Leo…" she found herself staring at Leo wide eyed. Leonardo had never acted this angry before…not even when he closed himself from the world, trying to be perfect…heart turning into solid ice…but the ancient one fixed that…

Didn't he?

Leonardo glanced at Angel, "You get out of here, too." He let go of Raphael, shoving the red masked mutant into the wall and glaring at him.

Raphael growled, bringing his hand to his busted lip and looked at it staring at the blood on his hand; clenching his fist he sent on last glare towards Leonardo, before turning, "I will be back Leo, whether I'm apologizin' or not."

Leonardo only glared at Angel and the battered and bruised Raphael as they disappeared through the doorway.

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Donatello rubbed the developing bruise on his jaw, his eyes wide and staring at the cellar, tears glazed his eyes; _No, I can't…_

_**You must.**_

He suddenly felt Leonardo kneel beside him, rubbing his shoulder, "Don, lets get you some ice."

_Ice…yeah, ice._

But his eyes wouldn't leave the cellar door. Leonardo helped him stand up, "Go sit on the couch."

Leonardo's voice was demanding, as if knowing what battle that he was having in his mind.

_Thanks Leo…_

He nodded, following Leonardo's orders.

Leonardo frowned, glaring at the cellar door, before grabbing an ice pack from the freezer, a rag, and glanced at the cellar door; shaking his head, he exited the room and stared at Donatello as he sat in silence on the couch.

_I'm sorry Donnie._

He sat next to Donnie, wrapping the ice pack in the rag, and gently moving Donatello's hand, setting the ice pack on the ugly bruise that was forming on the line.

_Raph's going to have a lot more…_

Leonardo stared at Donatello's mouth, both unaware that the gap between them was closing.

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**PLEASE R&R!**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT

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_Leonardo stared at Donatello's mouth, both unaware that the gap between them was closing. _

He didn't know what caused it to happen, but he didn't care. It was just a small simple kiss, but it was enough to flame his internal desire.

Plus he would have thought that Donatello would taste like vanilla mixed with the slight taste of sour grapes. He pulled away, and couldn't help but bring his free hand to the other side of Donatello's face, caressing it, staring at his closed eyes as he registered the kiss.

"You taste like tea," Donatello murmured; _just as I would imagine, especially how Leo lives off the stuff._

"Did you like it?" Leonardo didn't want to continue if it made Donatello feel uncomfortable, he didn't want to hurt him.

"It was so short that I didn't get the chance to see if I liked it or not."

Leonardo couldn't help but gulp at the thought…smelling him was intoxicating, but this was going way off the charts. Brother or not he was going to be selfish for once in his life, after letting Karai slip through his fingers; he wouldn't let it happen again. After letting the wrench steal his virginity that night… the day after the face off between the Foot and the Dragons…and then the way she threw him away.

He closed the gap between him and Donatello once again, savoring the sweet taste of vanilla and sour grapes. After what felt like a minute, he could feel Donatello shyly beginning to return the kiss.

He felt his desires become engulfed in flames, boldly tracing his tongue, begging and pleading to enter Donatello's oral entrance. He couldn't help but feel himself smile, using his hand that wasn't holding the ice back to Donatello's jaw line, to rest behind Donatello's neck as he was allowed entrance to his mouth.

He felt like purring when they pulled apart for air, but took in deep gulping breathes, nuzzling Donatello's cheek that was free of the ice pack.

Purring excitedly he whispered, "What do you think now?"

Donatello smiled shyly.

That was answer enough for Leonardo.

But a familiar force was returning to tear it all apart.

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**PLEASE R&R!**

Shortest chapter, but with lots of slashy fluffiness…


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT

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The man stumbled through the woods, glancing behind him…shouts in the distance. A smirk formed on his features as he glanced back, his bright orange jump suit screamed exactly what he was.

At age nineteen, drunk and confused he had his first taste of child molest on something that most normal people thought he'd be hallucinating…but he doubted it…it felt to real, and he wasn't that drunk.

He was now at the age of twenty nine, and had done plenty more, and done far worse to both women and children, but that first one would always go to mind.

He could get away with it far easier if it was something that no one knew, or cared about…and he bet that the small mutant child grew up.

But first he needed to find a place to hide until the search was over. Stumbling out of the woods, he smirked spotting an old barn.

"I bet no one would mind if I use it for awhile…" he snickered to himself, as he pulled his greasy brown hair from his face, showing possessive golden eyes, and the darkness hidden within them.

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Donatello stood outside, mind reflecting on the events that occurred the day before…Raphael…Leonardo…

He touched his mouth absent mindedly. He'd never felt like that before when he and Angel would share kisses, and it was surprising…he would have thought Leonardo would have let that thought go, not wishing to go past leadership…and being an older brother…to listen to his heart, his feelings.

Either Leonardo wasn't thinking…or completely thought it was for the best for the both of them.

Of coarse Leonardo ended up getting a call from Master Splinter later that afternoon, ordering him to explain why he inflected so much harm upon Raphael. Master Splinter understood after Leonardo explained the situation, leaving out the little detail that happened between the two of them afterwards.

He could still hear Leonardo purring.

He tensed when he felt someone grab him from behind, nuzzling the back of his neck, "You wanna do it again?"

He blushed at Leonardo's question, "Leo…are you sure?"

Leo smirked a bit, "Donnie…it's not like there's some test that you could perform to tell us whether or not we're blood related when we get back to the lair."

Donnie nodded a bit, closing his eyes, "Do you really want this?"

Leonardo grinned, "Don, don't let what Angel did to you think it will cause me feel any different…besides…if it wasn't for them then we wouldn't be like this would we?"

"What are we going to tell Splinter?" Don murmured.

"When you are fully recovered we're going to bed heading back to the lair and find out what we need to know…and then I'll ask for sensei's blessing," Leonardo stated.

"But what if he doesn't give us his blessing Leo?" Donatello blinked; _Am I the only one thinking logically here?_

"We'll figure something out," Leo stated, putting his chin on Donatello's shoulder.

"But first we got to get past the nightmares…" Leo murmured, "as soon as they are over and done with then we can leave."

Donatello nodded, leaning into Leonardo.

A sudden crash from the direction of the barn caused the two to tense.

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The man stuttered curses staring at the pile of scrap metal, his eyes narrowed. If he was heard then he'd have to kill someone…

He'd never killed before, but he has committed a crime just as bad. Reaching and grabbing a steal pipe from the pile, he hid in the shadows, watching and waiting for whoever heard him would come in…

And he'd give the blow.

Nothing but silence was his answer…he didn't hear the old barn doors open.

A sudden creak on the floor boards made him smirk.

Someone was there.

Leonardo silently cursed himself for taking a wrong step, but nothing would change that now as he crept along.

Someone was there, and he could sense nothing but danger. Paying close attention to the shadows, he kept moving…

Until he found the presence in the barn and he could see the bright orange.

_Great, just great we got stuck with one of those geniuses that escaped prison._

In a second he had whoever it was pinned to the wall, facing him…and right now he wished that he didn't.

_Young Leonardo's eyes were wide with fear as the dark haired man approached them, slowly and clumsily…the smell of an unfamiliar, but smelly odor came off of him as he walked closer to he and his younger brothers. _

_His eyes widened in absolute horror when Donatello slipped and fell over one of the old toys that was left out by Michelangelo. In a split second the man held Donatello in his grasp, his hands roaming all over his small trembling body…_

_Leonardo found himself screaming Master Splinter's name. Nearly seconds later Master Splinter came to their rescue, hoping that they'd never see the man again._

The man smirked, "You're one of them."

Leonardo growled, applying pressure on the man's arms, eyes narrowing.

"But you're not the one I'm looking for," the man smiled wickedly, suddenly tripping Leonardo, steal pipe still in his hand.

Just as Leonardo tried to stand up and fight back, he felt something hit him on the back of his head…

Causing his world to grow dark.

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**PLEASE R&R!**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT

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Michelangelo held his hand above the popcorn bowl, eyes wide with horror as his TV program was replaced with a special news bullion.

"_We are sorry to interrupt this regularly scheduled program to bring you this emergency news report. Twenty-nine year old rapist, Douglas C. Randolph as escaped from prison located close to the small town of Northampton. People who are living in the area are advised to stay indoors, and call the police if you see any trace of this man."_

With a loud clang, the bowl of popcorn fell to the ground as the images of the man were shown on the screen.

_It's him…it's really him…_

The man may have looked older…but he knew it was him. He remembered how Donatello acted after being molested like that when they were kids…it was why the brainy turtle was so shy.

The sound of an aluminum can falling to the ground spilling it's alcoholic contents on the ground caused him to turn in his seat and stare blankly at Raphael.

Confusion etched the red banded turtles face, his lower lip swollen, left eye sealed shut and becoming dark from bruising…right arm wrapped, and other bruises and scratches littered his body after returning at noon.

He tensed when Raphael fell to his knees, bracing his hands on the floor, shaking his head, muttering, "I'm sorry Donnie…"

He kept on repeating this until Master Splinter entered the room, eyes glued on the television screen, eyes narrowed.

"We must go to your brothers," he stated in a serious tone.

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Donatello hid in the shadows, tensed at the sound of loud footsteps entering the house; _Leo…_

His eyes widened when he saw _him_ walking in his direction…his knees trembled, and he couldn't tell that he was breathing loudly until he heard a purring sound.

It sounded nothing like Leo…

His ninja senses weren't working…and he was frightened.

In a sudden green blur the man was pinned to the wall.

Leonardo wasn't pleased with being knocked out for three and a quarter minutes…the man was sneaky, but nowhere near strong enough to keep him knocked out for long.

"You don't give up do you?" the man asked, golden eyes narrowed.

The man let out a sharp gasp when he felt himself being kneed in the groin _**hard**_. Dobbing over in pain, he slouched forward, gasping for air, "Now that was a dirty no good trick."

Leonardo frowned, "I wouldn't be the one talking."

Donatello stood frozen in fear where he was, watching as Leonardo tied and gagged their 'guest.'

Leonardo frowned…maybe Donatello was right, maybe he did need to throw in some training during Don's rehab.

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**PLEASE R&R!**

If this is moving a little to fast…let me know


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT

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Leonardo brushed the stray tears that ran down Donatello's face as they sat at the table in the kitchen, "I broke my promise."

He felt incredibly stupid; he couldn't believe that this promise couldn't be exactly kept. The man was insane, obsessive. Of coarse he's been described like that when it comes to training, subtracting the insane. He smiled softly as Donatello leaned into him, eyes staring blankly ahead, not looking at anything or anyone.

The man was in the living room…

Michelangelo had called telling them that they were on their way over there. What surprised him was when Raphael came on, pleading to speak to Donatello. He sounded hurt, he sounded like he was about to cry.

Raphael hardly ever cries. He remembered how he was told how his hotheaded brother reacted after being attacked so severely by the Shredder, but that was nearly a year ago.

He found his eyes staring at Donatello's bruised jaw, "Don…say something."

Donatello stayed silent, taking in a shaky breathe.

"Donatello, please, speak to me," Leonardo begged.

He loved Donatello with all his heart…he couldn't stand to see him so lost, so confused.

As he exhaled, Donatello muttered something, his eyes closing.

Cupping his cheek, Leonardo pulled Donatello away, staring deep into Donatello's dark eyes, "What did you say?"

Donatello bit his lip, casting his eyes downward towards Leonardo's lips, his voice barely a whisper, "I love you."

Leonardo leaned in giving the younger turtle a small peck on the lips, "I love you, too."

Knowing that at this time of day, traffic would slow everything down, plus packing for April, Casey, and Angel to stay with all of them for a week. Leonardo stood up, grabbing Donatello by the arm, "I'm going to call Master Splinter, telling him that we've decided to go on a camping trip to help with our training."

Donatello nodded slightly.

Leonardo found his mouth twitching upwards, "We'll be training…and maybe more, if you want to."

He glanced at Donatello, a small smile on his lips. Donatello needed this…he was still nervous about the fact that Raphael and Angel were coming like they did earlier that day.

Picking up the phone, Leonardo began dialing, holding the phone to his ear he waited.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey Mike. May I talk to Master Splinter?"

--------------------

It only to half an hour for them to pack the two bags, one with food, and the other with the supplies; after deciding to leave their 'guest' where he was, and Master Splinter and the others knew where he was…

Tied and gagged on a wooden chair, watching an episode of 'Barney' repetitively until his mind was corrupted by the righteousness of the purple dinosaur.

Leonardo grinned, glancing at Donatello, walking in a direction that no one in their family had gone to find an area to camp. Leonardo had found this small clearing months before for meditating whenever things got at Casey's grandmother's farm house became to hectic, especially with a brothers like Raphael and Michelangelo around.

It was a fair distance away, but it wasn't a day's hike to reach it, it took about an hour to an hour and a half, he hadn't been up there in awhile, but he knew exactly where it was.

"Leo…are you sure you know where we're going?" Donatello suddenly asked, rushing to walk beside him.

Leo smiled nodding, "Don't worry Don; I'd never lead you to a dead end."

Don nodded a bit, making Leonardo reach out and touch one of his arms, rubbing it gently. After all the events of that day, he wouldn't expect Donatello to be so tense.

Thinking a bit, he grinned; _I'm going to change all of that._

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Leonardo set his bag down, taking in the surroundings. He couldn't help but smirk when Donatello's bag hit the ground with a loud _**thud**_, and breathed out, "Wow."

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Leonardo stated, glancing at Donatello, sending him a lopsided grin.

Endless, clear blue sky went out for miles over the small clearing. The soft sound of a babbling stream cut through the center of the clearing, three large boulders sat at one part, small enough to clime on. One of the best places for meditation; the scent of pine tickled Donatello's nose as he realized that Leonardo been here multiple times before, seeing the small area for a campfire near the stream.

"So this is where you went on those three day trips?" Donatello murmured.

Leonardo grinned, glancing at Donatello, "What are you waiting for? Let's set up camp so we can have a bit of fun before training."

_Oh the fun we'll have…_

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**PLEASE R&R!**


	11. Chapter 11

This chapter contains turtlecest…or two turtles fucking…if this makes you feel uncomfortable, turn back now

Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT

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Donatello didn't really understand what Leonardo was planning, he could see him fidgeting as he watched him roll out the second sleeping mat…it was the last thing that was left to do to call that camp was officially set. Of coarse that was the moment Leonardo chose to pull him into a lip lock.

In a brief moment Leonardo broke the kiss, "Do you want to…" 

He rubbed Donatello's arms gently, wanting to do it when he knew that they were both ready.

"Leo…" Donatello stared in Leo's eyes, a light golden brown.

"If you don't want to then I understand," Leo murmured.

Donatello gulped…he wanted to, he really did…

But what if Leonardo does the same thing that Angel did to him?

"I want to, but…"

Leonardo knew what was running in the younger turtle's mind. Leaning in he placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, "I won't, and if you want to stop…then we'll stop, alright?"

Donatello nodded, slightly reassured by the older turtle's actions.

Taking the moment, Leonardo gentle tugged at Donatello's bandana ties, exposing his neck. Leaning in, he gave it a tender kiss, making the younger turtle's breathe hitch. Leonardo glanced up at Donatello briefly, before grazing the tender flesh of Donatello's throat with gentle licks.

He could feel his member flame to life the moment a soft moan escape Donatello's throat. He let out a soft purr, reaching out and gently and slowly beginning to touch Donatello's body.

He sensed no fear, unlike that night that that monster of a man…

He pushed the thought aside as Donatello started touching him, copying where he would touch him…

Quickly wrapping his arms around Donatello as the younger turtle's knees buckled, they found themselves in a horizontal position, Leonardo continuing his gentle touches and kisses as his dominance started to take over.

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After being on the road for a few hours, Raphael couldn't take it…he felt absolutely horrible for what he had done to Donatello. He felt like a horrible brother, and he knew that getting beaten up by Leonardo was being lenient for punishment.

Of course with Leonardo and Donatello being on a two day camping trip wasn't exactly helping him either.

Pulling out his shell cell, he called Leonardo's number.

"_Hello…"_ Leonardo's breathing was labored, but a soft, nearly unnoticeable purr was heard.

"Leo…man, you two must be training hard," Raphael stated, ignoring the purr in Leo's voice.

He could hear Donatello whispering something, "So, what's going on?"

"_Uh…Don and I just did a bit of sparing," _Leonardo answered, _"but why are you calling Raph?"_

"I wanted to talk to Donnie," he stated, "to apologize."

It was silent for a few seconds, _"Raph?"_

He couldn't help but grin, "Hey Don, I'm sorry bro, I shouldn't have done any of that crap…so…uh…no hard feelings?"

"_Yeah Raph,"_ it sounded as if Don was nodding, _"no hard feelings." _

In a matter of seconds the phone was silent again, _"Hey Raph, Don and I need to get back to training…we'll see you guys tomorrow afternoon."_

"Uh…okay."

The line went dead.

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Leonardo kissed Donatello's neck, "That was close…"

Donatello let out a small laugh, "Leo, I thought we'd get back to training after we had sex?"

Leo let out a soft hum, "Sorry Don, but I just wanna love and admire you."

Don blushed, "You know we do have to train sometime."

"I know, but let's relax after we had that mind blowing sex," Leonardo stated, before kissing Donatello passionately.

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**PLEASE R&R!**

You'll find out what happens to the man next chapter


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